The Power of Invitation: Influence Through Choice

In the dance of human interaction, how do we influence the movements of others? We might feel inclined to push people in directions we think assertively are best for them, whether in business, management or simply everyday life. However, there's another way – the power of invitation.

Pushing vs. Pulling – Navigating Behavioral Change

Think of someone whose behavior you wish to change. You could attempt to change it directly, mechanically 'pulling' them in a new direction by offering instructions or even insisting on change. While this can work, it doesn't involve consent or participation from the other party.

The alternative is an invitation. Offering opportunities like a leadership role is just that – an offering. The difference lies in language and how the recipient is engaged. We can provide context and express why someone might be well-suited to a task, but the choice to accept rests with them. The choice to accept rests with them.

Consent Over Collision

Direct commands are akin to two unaligned vectors colliding. If someone doesn't feel naturally suited for a task you 'push' them towards, you cause an inner conflict they must resolve. This resolution might bring out hidden potential, but the lack of initial willingness could sabotage efforts despite intentions.

Invitation is akin to creating harmonious motion. This mindset underpins coaching and mentorship. Coaches listen deeply, then invite clients to take action, addressing inner hurdles instead of dictating solutions. They invite others to face themselves and support them through personal growth challenges.

Transforming Your Approach

Consider these practical ways to adopt a more invitational mindset:

• Leadership: When delegating, highlight someone's strengths and why a task would suit them. Allow them to respond, collaborate, or gracefully decline.
• Personal relationships: Express needs directly instead of manipulating situations to "push" people into helping.
• Self-Improvement: Invite yourself to challenge your comfort zones, facing the emotions that make this difficult. Ask for support if needed.

Closing Thoughts

Invitation honors free will. It builds trust, minimizes resentment, and leads to more satisfying relationships. While direct instruction has its place, the invitation could be the powerful, often overlooked option to create lasting change for everyone involved.