Navigating Emotions in Professional Settings: A Path to Effective Communication

In professional environments, strong emotions such as anger or frustration are often more noticeable and can trigger a natural cautionary response among colleagues. These emotions, seen as potential instabilities, lead us to tread carefully around those experiencing them. Leadership coaching frequently advises focusing on the content over emotional responses to prevent defensiveness, yet this is easier said than done for many. Emotions are challenging to manage, especially without training in recognizing and addressing our emotional responses. Referring to the "management" of emotions is also a potential trap because it infers that we can play an active role in handling an emotional response, but that is not true in practice. Much like the thoughts that emerge in the mind, we also cannot control when an emotion will manifest.

Try it now, think of an emotion and manifest it. Were you successful?

We can change how we respond to the presence of an emotion, which is challenging at the start and gets simpler over time.

Then what option do I have if I cannot manifest emotions at will?

Understanding that we are not in control of our emotions can be a step towards drawing our awareness that even though an emotion is present in the mind and the body, it does not mean it is who we are. Even though emotion is present, we are not required to act from within the moment's feelings. We can notice them and draw our awareness to the fact that an emotion is present; however, we can rest our minds in that fact and do our best to carry on logically.

Okay, I can feel my heart racing, my hands are sweaty and my thoughts are getting jumbled I might be anxious right now. I am feeling a sense of danger but where it that coming from? Okay let me check in with my breath and see if I can ground myself so I can ride this out, the meeting is almost over.

Wow what they said really triggered me, I can feel my face feeling hot and a surge of adrenaline. I have an overwhelming sense to really give this person a piece of my mind. Hold on a second, let me check in with my breathing and focus my awareness on the bottom of my feet and ground myself.

My journey of self-improvement involved acknowledging my defensiveness and its impact on my progress. Defensiveness created additional obstacles to overcome and distanced me from my goals. I noticed the defensive nature of those around me, yet I failed to notice my defensive nature. Once I noticed my defensive nature, I immediately realized how I was making other people feel in those moments, which motivated me to address it. Addressing this aspect of my behavior became crucial for personal and professional growth.

So then, why do we have these emotional urges?

Often, we lack the language, familiarity, or understanding of a situation to express our needs effectively. Emotional expressions become a means for individuals to signal their needs to the world, hoping for a change in external behavior to meet those needs. Whether through expressions of frustration, anger, or even happiness, emotions serve as cues for others to adjust their actions or to reaffirm that things are moving in the right direction.

The alternative to emotional expression is developing the maturity and awareness to articulate our desires clearly. Presenting our intentions through clear communication can be far more efficient than relying on emotional cues, which require interpretation by others—a process fraught with potential for misunderstanding. Emotional expressions by leaders can particularly lead to confusion unless interpreted by those with high levels of empathy, inquisitiveness, or awareness, skills that are not universally present.

Then what is Emotional Intelligence

Emotional Intelligence then could be the combination of several skills, and each can be easier to achieve than others depending on the individual classified into two positions: internal and external:

Reminder this is opinionated and warrants cross referencing, but it is derived from my own experience and will change over time.

• Internal: The introspective awareness of the emotional self.
• Internal: The familiarity of emotional conditions.
• Internal: The familiarity of emotional triggers.
• Internal: The ability to respond dynamically to the emotional self. Dynamics means the ability to respond according to the conditions of a situation.
• External: The awareness of emotional other.
• External: Logical language to navigate emotional conditions.
• External: Ability to fully realize emotional conditions.
• External: Invoking or modifying an emotional condition.

Emotional Reactions

Organizations that suffer from emotional reactions rather than clear communication often spend excessive time and resources mitigating the emotional condition and not the root of the problem. If you find yourself in meetings aiming to clarify intentions, it's a sign that emotional reactions are obscuring the path forward.

Hard work and incredibly rewarding

Embracing clear communication over emotional presentation enhances efficiency and fosters a more stable and understanding professional environment. By developing the skills to articulate our needs and intentions directly, we can reduce reliance on emotional cues and move towards more constructive and meaningful interactions. This shift benefits individual growth and contributes to professional teams and organizations' overall health and productivity.